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What’s On Donald Trump’s USB?

6th November 2017 | News | Grace Jalowiecka

USBs can be a home for anything digital: holiday pictures, monthly spreadsheets, Bruce Willis’ endeavour into the music industry. That’s why 68% of lost USBs are eventually re-entered into someone else’s computer. What these flash drives contain is the total unknown.

The unknown, it can make us do all sorts of things: buy one-way plane tickets; try out new restaurants; buy £2 raffle tickets – when the most desirable item in said raffle is a 99p bottle of shampoo; and of course, enter USBs that we find into our computer.

People access these USBs they find out of curiosity, and this is just an average joe’s memory stick; most of the time they’re probably finding a copy of Hitch and ‘family holiday Corfu’ pictures. Well, imagine if said found USB belonged to the President of the United States, there’s no doubt that statistic would rise from 68% to 100% – who wouldn’t want to know what’s on the most powerful man in the world’s USB stick.

The Most Important Man In The World’s USB Stick

To stir a debate, one usually needs to present two different arguments, and do so with absolute brevity, only then will parties debate which presented argument is best. When it comes to Donald Trump, all you need to do is utter his name and you’ll have people debating for hours – even if they agree with another. He is the most emotionally provoking man alive.

If we were to find Donald Trump’s USB, what would be on it? How many debates would that stir? It sure is something a lot of people would like to know. Well, today at Flash UK we take our guess at what would lay. As USB specialists, we have the exact right skillset (no we don’t) to make estimations at what’s on people’s USB sticks.

Here’s our guess at what would be on Donald Trump’s USB:

Grammarly Pro

We believe Trump’s chief of staff put this on there. He studied English Literature at college and couldn’t continue letting the man he works for tweet with such linguistic incompetence. It was tearing him apart. There simply couldn’t be another unpresidented situation. Not on his watch.

Trump ignored the new weird green spec on his USB drive, naturally.

Grammarly Hopefully

He’s going to need to pay for pro

The Art of the Deal

Trump’s a narcissist, we all know that. We bet he’s got a copy of his book on his USB. Carrying it around like a digital bible. Reading it before bed; looking for guidance. Trying to solve his country’s problems with his own semi-linear ramblings.  

The Art Of The Deal

My face when someone questions my artistic competence when it comes to deals


How to Tie a Windsor Knot

His chief of staff up to no good again. Every day he looks at that tie – irks him beyond belief. He thought he’d put it on there, that way he wouldn’t have to withstand another day of watching that tie slapping his knees. He thought, at least. Turns out Trump is confounded by the modern USB. Confuses him all a bit too much, so he never really experiences these advances in the way his chief of staff would want to.

Donald Trump's Tie

We feel polarized by the man, imagine being his chief of staff for a day.


Flash UK

Of course, these are all estimations. We assume Trump most probably has a bit more serious information on his USB like 22 Unique Ways How to Bring up Hillary Clinton’s Email Scandal.

What we do know is we produce some of the best custom USBs in the UK. If the White House contacted us, asking us to make USBs in the shape of a really long tie, we could do it! And we would, in a very short amount of time as well, as that’s how we operate. High-quality – quick as you like!

Get in touch if you’d like to find out more about our custom USBs.